Good evening, afternoon, morning:
I was looking around doing some more research and found this interesting wiki article. Now I know I usually hate Wikipedia as much as the next person, but every once in a while they have something useful. So I thought I would share, the article and posting is titled How to Be a Good Friend to Someone with Gender Dysphoria:
"1.Help them by listening. Your friend will definitely have lows.
8. Help them with same sex bathrooms. If you're their inside gender, going in first to see if anyone's in there and beckoning them in, then standing guard is a very big favor. Most people in transition have a hard time finding a bathroom they can use, at some stages they can get trouble in either bathroom. When planning outings, scout ahead for where any mixed-use single user bathrooms are. Some places have disabled bathrooms set up separately from male or female with just one toilet in it. Anytime a friend checks this out first may save them a lot of embarrassment in the search," (http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Friend-to-Someone-with-Gender-Dysphoria).
I find these rules and guides especially true for male to female transgendered individuals. This being said because, while we in society don't like to talk about it, it is true that men have it easier then women. So to go from the top of the proverbial food chain, to the bottom is quite difficult. The looks and the inappropriate gestures and the overall flat 'piggish' behavior of many men is once again appalling.
And in doing some research once again I came across this statement of information that I thought was really well put. "Although my life has not been entirely free of transphobia and cissexism, the majority of discrimination I’ve dealt with has been in the form of misogyny and sexual objectification. And as said, it took me completely off guard. Despite not having been totally ignorant of the existence of sexism, I had had absolutely no idea just how common and ubiquitous sexual harassment and cat calls are. I mean, really… GOD DAMN. Like a lot of guys, I thought it was something that only a few creeps did, and usually only happened to especially pretty young women, and would be something that would only happen every once in awhile. NOT several times a week.
For awhile, I toyed with the idea of just responding by shouting “I HAVE A PENIS!” as loudly as possible, to see if I could make them as uncomfortable as they had just made me. But then I remembered that’s a really good way to get myself killed. Especially given how much sexual harassment and cat calls are based around insecure men feeling the need to assert their masculinity through emotional control and dominance," (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/03/07/sacrificing-privilege/).
While I have yet to experience a lot of this first hand I understand the feeling, and also know the craving and want to have female friends. While girls can be a bit catty, you are never going to go out dancing with a bunch of guy friends, or hang out and teach each other the proper way to put on makeup. Having jewelry parties and other types of events are generally 'girls' only, and for someone like me it is very hard to get invited or find some friends who will treat me just like one of the girls.
I did have one friend once, who I found through the internet, and it didn't end up working out. We hung out a few times, talked a lot and were what I thought was best friends for a few weeks, maybe a month. But at the time I was exploring my inner feelings and ended up talking to her about the idea of being gay, or at least the idea of being a straight female. I made the mistake of making it look like I was planning on leaving my wife, when in all reality I love her very much and messed up the friendship. Regardless I have very few friends now, and find as I get older, it's very hard to make new friends with a majority of time spent at work, and the fact that I don't go out to the bars drinking a lot there are very few activities to meet new people and make genuine lasting friendships.
I hope if anything I've learned from past friendships, though this world of female communication and the rules of friendship seem very new to me. Learning in psychology that males and females are taught very differently growing up how to behave and how to interact. While males tend to make friends through competition and doing activities, girls tend to make friends through cooperation and teamwork. It's quite the adjustment and taking some time to unlearn the years of information and bodily habits that I have come to know as second nature.
to be continued...