Thursday, October 31, 2013

Poetry - Some Old, Some New - Wanted to Share

Everything seems to be fine on the surface,
But beneath things are moving,
Everything is disturbed.
As you do not let it out,
Feeling safer with no friends truly close,
But always wondering,
What it would be like to actually let someone inside,
Leaving yourself totally vulnerable,
Not knowing if your friends will use what you tell them for good,
Or if they will stab you in the back,
As you learn from your mistakes,
Learning to be cautious,
And waiting,
Not knowing who to trust,
Yet always wanting to find that perfect one,
To hold,
And just appreciate you,
Yet sometimes even that seems to be too much to ask.
- An old poem I wrote. Wanted to share.
As your friends seem to become your foes,
as life turns upsidedown,
and you have no one to turn to,
you run,
hiding yourself,
finding it easier to shrowed yourself in the darkness,
than to come out into the light,
first because everyone puts you down,
and you say,
someday my time will come,
and things will get better,
yet those same friends talk behind your back,
with an unknown purpose,
so you cower in the corner,
and find yourself alone,
looking for one thing,
and someone to confine all your life in,
so living can become bearable.
- another old poem I wrote, a bit darker than some of the others - thus the title darkness
Cool Winter Evenings
Everywhere around me,
Things continue,
No matter how it feels to me,
Everyone goes on with their own lives,
Each of us an ant,
Within a galaxy so vast,
With something so large,
You would begin to believe,
It is impossible to fill it up completely,
But with the cool winter air,
And the hue of the city lights,
Reflecting their orange glare off the clouds,
My world could not feel more complete,
As I sit with my whole galaxy,
Wrapped and entwined,
As if predestined,
With someone,
Where I cannot fully explain with words how it feels,
I do know that the galaxy is complete,
My world is full.
- Big thinker that I was, it's fun to look back and see what I was writing about years ago.
These three poems above I wrote in High School, interesting how even then I knew something was out of place, unfortunately as you all know from reading earlier posts I was unable to delve deeper into these feelings to find out what they truly meant until a few years down the road.
Something is Missing

  Blouses and skirts,
  Oh the things I was missing and didn't know it,
  Male mode,
  drab clothes,
  blending in,
  or fading away,
  The life I left behind,
  Female mode,
  the choices,
  the light and beauty,
  the creativity and adventure,
  The life I now have,
  while it's not for everyone,
  I understand the feeling,
  the first time I took estrogen,
  how I was minerally deficient,
  and I had added a piece to myself,
  like a puzzle with the last missing piece,
  I was finally put together and complete.

-New creation

Dating, Searching and finding our 'one'

   Love and Confusion,
   Were do we find ourselves,
   How do we know who to trust,
   A few who just want a 'ride',
   A few who are insincere,
   A few who are confused themselves,
   And a few who outright reject you,
   We hold to ourselves,
   And want others to see us as we are,
   To be loved,
   As we are,
   Not some potential of what we could be,
   But genuinely as we are,
   The feeling of being accepted,
   Opening up and having someone say 'yes,'
   That they want to be with you,
   They value you,
   Cherish you,
   And treat you like the princess you are,
   We go out in the world,
   Sometimes feeling like someone will come to us,
   Other times craving that companionship,
   We all have someone we match with,
   Likely more than one for some people,
   As they say,
   You are the 'one,'
   So I hope well all find our 'one,'
   To be with,
   To Cherish,
   And to treat as a prince or princess.


   - New Material.

Where are we going, Where did we come from?

   Where did we come from?
   Where are we going?
   I paddle down the river of life,
   Sometimes battling the current,
   Being pushed back and losing ground,
   Other times floating with the current,
   Relaxing and just letting life be,
   Why struggle against the inevitable?
   It's so much easier to just be,
   To be myself,
   To express myself,
   To stand up and yell from the mountaintops,
   I am woman,
   Have always been,
   It matters not how the rest of the world sees me,
   I'm curious though,
   Where are we going?
   Where did we come from?
   Especially when we fight the current,
   Or even go with it,
   Only to find that we are led to the edge,
   And topple over the waterfall,
   It's beautiful,
   But Where are we going?
   Where did we come from?

-New Material

These three are all new, now being an artist in writing and expressing feeling, I hope I don't have to explain that each of these in their own way are not literal interpretations of my experiences, but will hopefully resonate with a wide audience and be understood differently by different people. 
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