Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Week 2 Living as a woman full time

Been a little while since I've written,

Working things out for myself, actually have been quite busy getting situated with living as a female full time.  Let's see, well I posted the pictures so you know a little of what I've been up to, Jun 15th we went out to the grocery store again, another first again at the deli counter I got called Ma'am for the first time.  Again really didn't have any negative reactions, my wife says our worst reaction was when we were checking out the bagger lady didn't say have a good day when we went to leave.

Sunday we just hung out, and I had to do my last set of homework for my last Accounting course for my masters.  Monday began finals week, I worked on my Law final and met up with my friend from class to go over the answers and see if we could proof each others work.  We went out to Margaritas and had some food, hung out, waiter came over and said 'how's everything going ladies' so again didn't really attract a lot of attention as I think I am passing fairly well.

Tuesday was PFLAG night, 2nd Tuesday of the month, my wife came with me to the meeting and we listened to a lot of stories and I had a lot of support and people who told me they would help me look for accounting jobs in the Southern Maine.  Though really I am looking all over USA, primary choices being Boston, Portland ME, Philadelphia, Washington DC, San Francisco and Seattle.  I have another phone interview tomorrow so :: fingers crossed :: and this job sounds like it would be a great fit and awesome company to work for.  But I'll let you know how it goes.

So we got the details about the pride parade for Saturday the 15th at the meeting and I actually had a couple members say they didn't recognize me with my hair and makeup.  Which I suppose is a good thing.  lol.  My wife had a good time at the meeting and found it helpful to listen to the stories of other parents and partners.  They explained our 'coming out' as the partner, my wife, has to 'come out' herself as I suppose the community may view her as a lesbian now, but it is a confusing situation.  As she doesn't view herself as a lesbian but she is now married to a woman.  Hard to explain to people who don't understand the situation, but either way we are dealing with it one day at a time.

Wednesday was my final Law class, I had to do a presentation and hand in my final exam.  I was nervous about doing the presentation though when I got up in front of the room to talk I found that I was less nervous and more comfortable and confident in my own skin presenting as a female.  I suppose this makes sense as I'm not wasting effort trying to pretend to be male and focusing on mannerisms and everything else that goes along with it.  Well it didn't go as well as I imagined it, I had practiced the presentation in front of my wife at home and I think I did much better presenting than I ever did as a male.

Thursday I had a meeting with Robert Half, Accounttemps, went out to the office and had an interview at their permanent placement office which went very well.  I was outside to go into the office and had a mailman coming to the door who called me 'darling' again confirming that I don't look too out of place.  The interview was more relaxed, though I had met with them as a male last year and so I already had been to the office once before and was more comfortable with the surroundings.

Friday I took the day to relax, did some cleaning and other things around the house as on the following Monday, yesterday now the realtor was supposed to come so we can list our house on the market for sale.  Saturday we went out to the Pride Parade, everyone was happy to see us, many remembered me by name, and while I had a minor panic attack at one point I look back at the event and am happy that I went and realize that it was a fun time.  I really LOVED my red dress and finally had an excuse to get all dressed up.

I have to say though that I did realize at the parade that while I try to dress classy, there are many in our community who don't.  I understand getting dressed up naughty at home and stuff, but there are a lot of trans who go out to these events and look like street-walkers.  I suppose it's really likely not their fault as they probably don't have good girl rolemodels to look up to, but still I can see how the infighting might happen because I likely couldn't see myself hanging out with people like that.  Either way I have to try to step outside myself and not judge and give people a chance before deciding those things.  They may just need help and guidance.  The old saying 'never judge a book by it's cover' should apply but sometimes it's hard to do.  Perhaps this is because we worry by association what others will think about us, but really if they aren't our friends why do we care what others think?

Sunday I had to complete my last final for my Accounting course.  I finished my accounting final and am now complete with my masters studies.  I got an A in my Law class and a B+ in the Advanced Accounting class.  A lot of the grades though I think I could have had a 4.0 if I wasn't working, however I need the money to pay the bills and didn't want to hold back my progress.  So I took class on nights and weekends and probably didn't spend as much time studying as I should have as I was busy with other things.

Either way I was happy to be done.  No more school, well there will be CPE's and studying for the CPA but I consider that to be different than normal school.  Unless I choose to go back and get my PHD which I may eventually but right now I don't know.

Now up to yesterday, Monday, I spent most of the morning mowing the lawn, finished the last book of the Wheel of Time, enjoyed the ending and then skyped with my friend while playing games in the afternoon.  I did some more cleaning around the house, getting things ready for the realtor but she got caught up at a closing.  I also had a fight with my friend, our first 'fight' though the item in question wasn't really material it was more about a trust issue.  I thought one thing about a character in a game and I ended up being wrong and I should have just said I'm not sure instead of guessing at the answer based on my experience.  Either way today we have 'kissed and made up' so to speak, not literally kissing, but she told me today that I am now her adopted sister.

Today I drove down to my mom's house, we hung out, I went and got my eyebrows done.  I believe that the pain involved in the waxing was nothing compared to the laser treatment.  So, it wasn't too bad, I'll post some pictures of the eyebrows and my earrings shortly.  We had lunch, got ice cream and had a nice morning.  I went down to the town hall in the town where I was born and got my copy of my birth certificate to have for my name change if needed.  In either case I now have a current copy I can bring with me to present to the judge at the hearing.

to be continued...
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