Ch 24: 6/5/13 Personal Journal Entry

Hey Everyone,

   Today I'm going to go back to talking about my own recent experiences and share what I have been going through lately.  While you know I have had a number of appointments and I was sick with a cold for a while I have not really gone into too much detail other than the overview of what is going on.  I also just feel that I need to process my own thoughts and can continue to do so through this format.

   Most recently, last night I had my 2nd laser hair removal treatment on my face, much less painful than the first time.  After trying to let the purging happen naturally last time I ended up shaving off the dead follicles and was disappointed at the length of time the purging had taken.  For me it took almost a week if not a little longer, when I was expecting as for most people that it would only take 2-3 days.  Even after the purging finally occurred leaving my face with less hair than it had before the regrowth was patchy and never truly fully went away.  This was explained to me as being because I had so many follicles that the amount of laser energy just wasn't enough to adequately destroy all of them.  On the good side after 6 weeks those follicles that did die and purge still haven't come back.  So the ultimate goal and the way it is looking is that after each treatment I will have less and less hair to deal with on the face, while not quite what I expected, it is still working.  The expected results were that it would completely purge, giving me a smooth face for 4-6 weeks at which point the hair would start to regrow.  While the completely smooth did not happen, as I said hopefully the follicles that were killed are starting to be permanently destroyed.  I do think the Estrogen is helping with this as well.

   Last night I also got my ears pierced.  Not such a huge deal as some guys get this done, though for me it's a statement as I have to keep the studs in for 8 weeks to make sure the holes don't close up.  Which means that more than likely I have started my year of presenting.  I am applying to jobs now as Rebecca, I have petitioned for my legal name change which I have the hearing for in a couple months, and I am wearing my wig and female clothes consistently when I go out into the 'real' world.  Granted now at home I don't always dress up, which is funny because it used to be the opposite way around, I couldn't adequately express myself in public so I would dress up at home, now I am expressing myself in public and able to dress down at home more for comfort than anything.

   I still need to get my nails done, lol, not that this is a big deal, probably will end up doing them myself at some point soon.  It's just a nice thing to have done.  For anyone though who has not had it done professionally before, I highly suggest it.  It is far more than just clipping the nails and putting some polish on them.  They usually will soak your feet in a nice massaging bubble bath type thing, and then they clean out your cuticles, which seems strange at first but the intense clean feeling you get from getting it done is unlike anything else I've ever experienced.  Again for those girls out there, this is why some guys will go and get their nails done professionally too, they usually don't get the polish done but having the nails cleaned out is the real benefit to getting them done professionally.

   Last night I also had an unexpected surprise and had some of my cousins come over to visit.  It was nice we just sat around and played clue.  Of course though they were expecting to see me as Rebecca so I kept my wig on and they for the most part called me by the new name.  Most of them still called me 'he' but it wasn't that big of a deal.  I'm not overly picky about it yet, as the legal name change hasn't gone through yet, but they were making the effort to try and that is what was important.

   So, back to the ear piercing.  I say now after the fact that it wasn't that big of a deal, but for some reason I was more nervous about that than the hair removal even though the hair removal was more painful.  I think I'm just a big wimp when it comes to needles.   Any sharp object really.  When I was little the 'monsters' in my room wound hide under my bed and I would swear they were poking me with knives through the mattress.  I would literally feel sharp pokes in my stomach, of course I know now that it was all my mind manifesting on itself, but I guess it still has long lasting psychological effects. 

   I also am pretty sure I just got a job offer if I wanted it.  But it's selling insurance, which for whatever reason I hate sales.  Oh well, the earning potential is good, and the business itself isn't bad to be in, it's not like I would have to deal with the claims side of things but all the same I prefer service business over product sales.  I mean people can argue that Insurance is a service business and isn't too much unlike Accounting tax work, I suppose a tax return can be looked at as a product, but somehow I see it as a different thing.

   Now I'm jumping all over the place I know, lol but this is the difference between a journal entry and a more formal topic entry.  I also found out from my lovely wife that it's a good idea to have two different shades of foundation, one for summer and one for winter.  As it's likely your going to have a little more color in your skin when the sun comes out, something I never really thought about but when using my lighter foundation I do notice a difference that it doesn't match my skin tone quiet like it used to.

   Today I have my 2nd to last masters course, then I get to do my final exams and have to prepare a presentation for next week.  Which should be interesting seeing as I've been dressing now, so not only will I be nervous about the presentation but probably also nervous about being dressed.  lol.  The situations we get ourselves into, well I'm sure I will be just fine and doubt I will have any issues getting at least a B in the course, but it's still nerve wracking.  A lot of things are these days, but I guess we keep going through these situations and have all new firsts.  In a way it's an adventure a chance to redo simple things as if it's the first time your doing them because your able to express and be yourself while doing it.

So for now I end abruptly, but as I said I mostly wanted to write and share, and process some of my own thoughts.  Hope you have enjoyed.

to be continued...